Aldi has opened near Costco

Nice wide open spaces but didn't spend too much time looking at the selection

Also practicing blogging  from my phone

Memo to Santa

Memo to Santa: Do not eat the cookies at this person's house.

Middlesex Greenway Paved Bike Trail

We finally got around to biking the 7 mile round trip Middlesex Greenway Paved Bike Trail. 

It was much nicer than we expected.  The trail was in great condition and there were informational plaques every so often. It wasn't the most scenic trail we have ever been on but it was still pretty good. 

Bridge over Route 1

End of the line

Tribute to MacArthur Park

This Was Just Wierd

How to Calculate Time Spent in Bathroom

The Poop Fairy

There is no Poop Fairy. But wouldn't it be nice if there were?

Also an Empty Soda Can/Bottle Fairy, Candy Bar Wrapper Fairy, Cigarette Butt Fairy, Fast Food Container Fairy ...

UnitedFail : What was the make of your first car? - Part II

I kindly emailed CustomerCare@united.com to let them know about the absurd security question required for their login:

Trying to log in to my account. Security questions required:

"What was the make of your first car" - Really? Have you seen the choices? Has your site been hacked?

Please let me know when this is fixed.

This was their response:

Thanks for taking the time to write to us. We’re glad to hear from you.

I'm sorry to hear you're not happy with the security questions we're now requiring our customers to answer. When we gave customers the opportunity to create their own questions, the majority of our customers selected questions that were too easy for an unauthorized person to answer.

The security of your account profile, and the important information it contains, is of the utmost importance to us. After much research on the different options for security questions, it was determined this is the best way to prevent unauthorized access to your MileagePlus account.

We always welcome our customers' feedback at http://unitedairtime.com

Regards,

Sue Chan
MileagePlus Service Center

To be continued...

I Would Not Like Them Sam I Am

The origin of the Green Eggs

UnitedFail : What was the make of your first car? - Part I

What was the make of your first car?  Really?

Baby Planks

Bathroom Post

Gotta make sure you are not going to run out of toilet paper.

If I Build It, Will They Come?

Unusual Combination of Things not Allowed

Why Did the Turkeys Cross the Road?

Because the chicken was on vacation, duh!

Why is this not in the Bathroom? subtitle: Modern Art

This is located in the Seattle Art Museum (SAM). 

It is an exhibit in one of the galleries instead of being in the bathroom where it belongs. 

Clearly, I must be a philistine, but can someone please explain to me why this is art?

I didn't take a separate photo of the blurb, but here it is cropped from the above photo. Although it is blurry, you can clearly read the directive on the bottom:

I really think that they used the wrong message. It should not say "Please do not Touch".

I will let you fill in the blank: It should say instead  "Please do not ________."


Image: Urinal, 1984, Robert Gober, American, b. 1954, wood, wire, plaster and enamel paint, 30 x 20 x 20 in., Seattle Art Museum, Gift of the Virginia and Bagley Wright Collection, in honor of the 75th Anniversary of the Seattle Art Museum, 2014.25.24. © Robert Gober, Photo: Paul Macapia.

And I don't care about The Duchamp Fountain either.

Dance of the Sous-vide

Who needs fish?

Just as Mother Nature Intended

Dilbert is Possibly in this Closet

Curbside Leaf Pickup, Miami Style

Building a Sand Castle in Miami

What They Use Snow Plows for in Miami

Going Beyond the Pail

Saw this in Miami ...

Happy Birthday United Airlines!

United Airlines celebrated a birthday on April 6th and we were at the party!

Happy Purim - America’s Next Top Idolized President

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!

To the America’s Next Top  Idolized President 2016 Reality Show!

You have to be crazy to run for president!

This has been the most insane campaign ever, and therefore a gold mine for the late night comics. For your Purim enjoyment I have compiled some of what I think is their best stuff. Here’s Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, Saturday Night Live, Conan O'Brien, and John Oliver.

But first, here are some Actual Candidate Quotes:  

Fallon: “How are you going to create jobs in this country?”  Trump: “I’m just going to do it.” Fallon: “But how?”  Trump: “By doing it. It just happens.”

"What do I know about it? All I know is what's on the internet." Trump

 “I am the best friend Israel has; I was Grand Marshall at the Israeli Day Parade.” Trump

“The way I look at it, even if Donald Trump turns out to be not such a great president, we’re only looking at 4 years.” Ben Carson

“I’ve been as transparent as I know to be,” Clinton in response to Anderson Cooper, re her emails

Great One-Liners:

"Ted Cruz and Hillary Clinton were named the winners of Monday's Iowa caucuses.  Cruz celebrated by giving a speech to his supporters, and Hillary celebrated by moving her stuff back into the White House." Meyers

"According to a new poll, Hillary Clinton has lost a third of her supporters in Iowa since May. There's still debate as to whether she lost them or just deleted them from her database." Fallon

Re Jim Gilmore in Iowa - “He only got 12 votes. That is less - this is true we looked it up - than the number of people in Iowa named Jim Gilmore.  He is the front runner of last place.” Colbert

 “If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to hear it, it will still get more votes than Jim Web.”  Colbert

"This Sunday is Super Bowl 50, between the Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers. Of course it'll be weird when they do the coin toss before the big game, and the winner is still somehow Hillary Clinton."  Fallon

"Republican presidential hopeful Chris Christie said this weekend that he would rather jump off the Brooklyn Bridge than be in Congress. And just to be safe, Mayor de Blasio issued a tsunami warning for Lower Manhattan."   Meyers

Re Jeb Bush - “He had all the advantages of name recognition but was saddled with the burden of name recognition.”  Colbert

Re Bernie’s loss in Florida - “It’s so sad to see Bernie betrayed by the people he most resembles.” Colbert

 “I learnd to spel at Trummp Universsidy,” – Myers’ suggestion for a Trump rally sign

Carson resigned saying He sees no path forward.  “Dr, with your eyes closed, you can’t see anything forward.”  Colbert

"Hillary Clinton has temporarily changed her campaign logo to rainbow colors in support of marriage equality. Of course, her idea of marriage equality is both of you should get to be president."  Meyers

"A Donald Trump rally was delayed for nearly two hours yesterday due to fog. At one point the fog was so thick; Trump supporters couldn't even see who they were punching." Fallon

"Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a daughter named Charlotte this weekend. Hillary Clinton was really excited until she remembered that you have to be 18 to vote."  Meyers

“Tea party Senator Ted Cruz claims he currently does not have health insurance. Man, this guy will say anything to prove he's not Canadian."  Conan O'Brien

"Ted Cruz has been moving up in the polls but still is only the fourth most popular “Cruise” behind Tom, Penelope, and Carnival."  Kimmel

Videos - These are all must sees:

The Truth about Donald Trump; Make Donald Drumph again! John Oliver www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnpO_RTSNmQ&feature=youtu.be  

Early in the campaign re the election: All Americans are affected by the outcome, all of us get to have our say, and nearly all of us are running. Colbert.   www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8ed_BVDgwI

Trump vs Trump debate. Colbert  www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpKiP_gmDS8

“Lie Witness News” interview of people in California on whom they voted for on “Super Tuesday” March 22^nd, although CA’s primary is in June. Kimmel www.youtube.com/watch?v=jka3nb9CGV8

Trump victory speech, Iowa: "First Is the Worst, Second Is the Best" Fallon www.youtube.com/watch?v=N30zt9mRi_k

“The Hungry for Power Games” series. Take off on the Hunger Games, as candidates are “eliminated”. The whole series is hilarious. Check out post-Iowa.  Colbert www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruWSO6vYKXQ  

SNL Hillary announces her candidacy “Citizens you will elect me!”  With a guest appearance by “Bill” www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXdNYXMQoy8 

Super Tuesday wrap up: Hillary “I’ve got clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, and here you are, stuck in the middle with me.”  SNL  www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1hEyiE2q-w

Trump giving his Super Tuesday Victory Speech, about Hillary:  “In 2008 she lost to a black man. In 2016 she will lose to an orange man. Orange is the new black.” Fallon  www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRhKS7gYq9E

Bernie Sanders “My message is resonating with a very diverse group of white people. And I’ve got supporters of all ages - 18 year olds, 19 year olds...That’s it.”  SNL www.youtube.com/watch?v=E--oLFYs9aI  (start at  3 minutes)

“The Producers,” Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderik, promote Trump for president - Kimmel  www.youtube.com/watch?v=OemqVWi_R0k    

Palin endorses trump.  SNL www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pinZNYxQeo and the real thing - very scary- www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvlm3LKSlpU

Canada’s take on the election www.facebook.com/inthenowrt/videos/578195305664176/

Laugh at these jokes, though it’s really no laughing matter.
Despite how discouraging the potential outcome of this election seems, with g-d’s help, we hope the politics work out as well as they did in Paras and Madai (Biblical Iran and Persia)(c) Happy Purim from the Lill and Bob Party 2016   

In addition to shalacmonos, to fulfill your obligation for matanot l'evyoim, we suggest Rabbi Haber’s Torah Labs Tzedaka fund in Israel, www.torahlab.org/index.php/tzedaka,and Rabbi Luban’s Tzedaka  fund, www.ohrtorah.net.

Shalacmonos:

Nuts, Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, Grape Nuts Flakes (nuts and flakes!)  

 Bananas, Milano and Hamentasch Kookies, Odd Balls

Something My Boys Would Appreciate - a Kippa Clip tool on steroids

Kippa Clip tool on steroids

Glove Compartment With a Shelf!

Civil Disobedience or Just a Coincidence?

Portuguese Man of War (Physalia physalis) Moving on Sand

I don't see how this Portuguese Man of War (Physalia physalis) can move on its own (no mussels - ha!,) but this movement sure looks like more than the wind blowing it.

My Pi Gets to Not Eat in Some of the Nicest Restaurants

If Only Airbnb was in Existence 20 years ago!

This igloo in Brooklyn was posted on Airbnb this week:

"Dripping with ingenuity and alt-lifestyle aura lays the Snopocalypse of 2016’s most desirable getaway,"  

"Hand-crafted, and built using only natural elements – we're offering the experience of a life time in this chic dome-style bungalow for you and bae."

This is the letter he got from airbnb after they shut it down:

Procrastination

I finally got around to reading this...