Patishch Kail, Close But No Cigar

Instead of the usual Ortega hard taco shells, I recently bought a pack of 12 Ortega Flour Tortillas.

First I checked for hashgacha of course, and yup, the tortillas are OU pareve. But not only OU pareve, they are also Patishch Kail.

This message raises several questions

- Is there a new chumra I haven't heard about? Patishch Kail?

- Perhaps the OU Pareve is also a typo, and the stuff is really OR (registered trademark) Parvenu? (Thanks, spell check)

- What is Parvenu anyway, spell check?

- Is this packaging Sheimos?

I contacted Ortega to get an answer to these urgent questions.

Marge Broncaccio responded to my query:

Dear Ms. L-----y,

Thank you for contacting B&G Foods, Inc.

As you would expect, we place a great value on the opinions of our consumers. So, we were truly delighted to hear how much you enjoy our Ortega Flour Tortillas.

At B&G Foods, Inc. we are well aware that quality products and customer satisfaction are a winning combination.

We hope you will continue to enjoy our many fine products.

Thank you also for bringing to our attention the spelling error.

Please accept the complimentary coupons that I will be mailing to you today.

Youp!!! Youp!!! Coupons!!! Just in time for pesach.

My Pi also brought the matter to the attention of Rabbi L. We have not heard back from him. Pehaps he is busy with other things at the moment.

Responding to Patishch Kail is clearly not as urgent for Rabbli L. as responding to the advertising campaign some clever marketing person came up with a few years ago, that was caught by my Pi.

It was also in the Close But No Cigar category: Enjoy Drake's Cakes at your Passover Seder, OU Dairy!!! The OU took care of that one very quickly.

By the way, the tortillas worked really well with chili.

Question on protocol

Can someone help me out with an answer to this question.

Let's say I have a brilliant thought or observation that I would like to share with the known universe.

When should it be blogged, when should it go on facebook, and when does it go on twitter? I would like to post on all three of course, but I don't want to start repeating myself or breach some rule of social networking etiquette.

Or reveal myself to be some clueless geek wannabe.

Purim Shalacmonos Wrap Up

It seems like variations on the economic recession and Obama's recovery plan were popular Purim themes this year.

Great minds think alike.

We got the very clever:

Mensch $timulus Package ("Now that's a depression; they faced annihilation")

A Purim Recovery Package ("Passed by the Smith House 5-0")

And at least one or two more which I can't remember.

We got more Chanukah Gelt this Purim than we did in December.

(Not only bailout gelt, but also chocolate coin Clues from the Auman's Movie theme ("3 Coins In A Fountain").

Here, in its entirety, is our Purim story:

"When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemon Tea and Eat Cake"

Achashveirosh decided it was time for change in the Kingdoms of Persia and Media. So he threw an enormous party for the entire kingdom. Twice as big as his predecessor’s. Everyone was invited. A lot of Jews, having read his megilla, I Have A Dream From My Father1, thought they could use some extra change. So they also went to the party.2

Meanwhile, as Achashveirosh was throwing his great party, the economic situation in the Kingdoms of Persia and Media was getting worse and worse daily. People all over Shushan were losing their jobs. Many found out that thieves had madoff with their life savings. The situation was grim.

The Persians were not happy when Achashveirosh announced his Fiscal Plan which consisted of “When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemon Tea and Eat Cake.” They were especially not happy when they found out that Memuchan, of the Department of the Treasury, as well as several other key advisors, owed thousands of shekels in taxes going back many years.3

The Jews in particular were devastated when Haman, chief advisor to Achashveirosh, proposed his Economic Recovery Plan. This plan combined the government’s popular revenue generating system of a lottery4 with an edict to confiscate the assets of the people of ‘A Certain Nation’.5 It was estimated that trillions of shekels would be generated by this plan which would Stimulate The Economy,6

The Jews, even those Jews who still were in good financial shape, got really upset. They all wore cheap sackcloth7 to show their solidarity with, and to generate public awareness of, those who were unemployed.8 Also as a sign of their disapproval of Haman’s Plan.

With Hashem’s help, Hamen was impeached9 and Mordechai appointed in his place. Mordechai came up with a brilliant Alternate Fiscal Plan that was presented to Achashveirosh and met with his approval - Let The Jews Defend Themselves.10 The Gazans were upset, didn’t think the Jews should be allowed to defend themselves, and planned to launch all their rockets anyway.

The Jews had light and gladness and Joy and honor. 11 And they lived happily ever after.12

1 Written before he became king. During his reign, he would suffer from insomnia. Book of Esther 6:1
2 Book of Esther 1:5
3 Shushan Journal, Business Lunar Month, The Enquirer of 127 Nations, et al
4 “Hey, you never know.”
5 You know who. Book of Esther 3:8
6 This is every madman and despot’s Plan.
7 Bought at Shushan Target for $18.99 www.target.com/Sackcloth
8 This was the only option available to them as plastic colored wristbands and ribbon shaped magnetic bumper stickers had not been invented yet.
9 Not because of trying to bribe the king, that was ok, but because of a scandal concerning inappropriate behavior towards the queen.
10 This was, and is, unprecedented in that it was approved and even endorsed by a non Jewish government.
11 Book of Esther 8:16
12 After the events related in The Book of Esther, Achashveirosh once again waffled on his position on the Middle East, and came up with an obvious solution to the problems plaguing this region - The Let’s All Just Be Friends And Be Nice To Each Other Plan.

Contents of Shalacmonos

Extra Change (chocolate coins )
Lemon
Lemon yoghurt
Lemon zinger tea
Lemon cake

If by chance you received Shalacmonos from us and did not get a Lemon, or got a different flavor Yogurt, or just got Coins and Tea ... well, all I can say is, we ran out.

Just be glad you got anything in these rough economic times.

Way to Increase Productivity

I somehow corrupted the toolbar in SQL Server Management Studio (SSMS) the other day:

This is what it looked like
when I selected Edit, and selected File:

       

At first it was annoying. When I thought about it a little longer, I realized, Wow! Think how productive I could be using this toolbar!

Sackcloth for $18.99 at Target

While doing some research for this Purim's shalachmonos insert, I came upon this valuable piece of information - Sackcloth is available for $18.99 at Target.

Just in case anyone wants to order some. And you can be the first to review it.

www.target.com/Sackcloth/dp/B0014645ZA

More Botanical News

On the home front,

One of Lumpy's esrog plants has bloomed.

And my crocuses have started to sprout.

At the office,

My holiday cactus is blooming again. For Tu B'Shevat? Purim?

And the rest of the garden is also doing very well.

Botanical News

In December I potted this amaryllis bulb :

With just sunshine, warmth, and water, it grew into this over the next 2 months :

Getting me psyched up for the Edison Flower Show, which I went to today:


So you can expect to see stuff like this next time you come to the house :

Shhhhh ......... it's a surprise

We went to a surprise engagement party today.

I've never been to a surprise engagement party before and didn't quite know what to expect.

Or who was supposed to be surprised.

I thought of several possibilities. All involved hiding in a closet with several hundred other guests waiting for the signal to jump out jump out and yell Surprise!!!!

1. A random young man and a random young woman are pulled off the street, introduced to each other. And - Surprise! You are engaged!

2. A secretive young man has never told his parents he has ever gone out, let alone asked his the woman he has been dating for three years to marry him, and thought it would be hilarious to let his parents know by getting them to his Kallah's house for the engagement party, on some lame pretext.

3. A young man and woman are "unofficially" engaged in that that they have selected a wedding date, but are not "engaged".

We get to the house and ... do you guess scenario # 1? scenario # 2? or scenario # 3?

Scroll down for the answer ...


The actual event was closest to scenario # 3, although the happy couple got "officially" engaged the night before the party, so there was no actual jumping out of the closet yelling Surprise!!!

So although I was disappointed about the closet part, it was an incredible party. And we go back a really long time with the Chason's family and it was great to share in their simcha. And we got to see Moshe before we went. So it was definitely worthwhile going. Did I mention there was great food?


The invitation (with the names of the happy couple white-ed out)

Back in NJ - A Walk in the not-national Park

Ok, so it's not Zion or Bryce, but it was the best we could do on short notice.


At least we got to see "The March of the Ducks "

Are we having fun yet?

Here are just the common side effects of the antibiotics I am on:

Antibiotic #1
Upset stomach, nausea, diarrhea, headaches, dizziness, lightheadedness, trouble sleeping.

Antibiotic #2
Dizziness, headache, diarrhea, nausea, stomach pain, loss of appetite, constipation, changes in taste, dry mouth.

I am glad to report no headaches or the runs.

Cute Baby Bunnies - the results are in

So I checked the stats after posting a picture of Cute Baby Bunnies

and ...

no increase in traffic to this site.

The Parental Units Wrap Up Their Vacation

I know you are all waiting for incredibly scenic vacation photos.

But because the vacation is old news now ...

And because I have posted a larger selection ( some (my Pi) might say too many ) of photos elsewhere ...

Here is a quick wrap up of ther rest of our trip:

The Parental Units in Bryce

The Parental Units Go Snowshoeing


The Parental Units in Zion

The Parental Units in Valley of Fire

The Parental Units in Vegas


Southwest Gothic


Anyone who wants the link to the too many pictures let me know.