A Happy and a Healthy Purim!

We had some trouble coming up with a theme for this year’s Shalacmonos. Somehow, we couldn’t find anything funny about the Olympics, earthquakes. Tiger Woods, global warming, plane crashes, blizzards, angry lunatics with guns, late night talk shows, last season of TV shows, blizzards, sticking accelerator pedals, underwear bombers, tfillin bombers, state governors, Lady Gaga, or blizzards.

So we decided to take on that barrel of laughs, the US Health Care System.
The Lill and Bob Family Solution to the Health Care Problem:

~~~ JUST DON’T GET SICK ~~~

To help you achieve that goal, we are suggesting the following menu of healthy foods for your Purim Seudah (festive meal). Also recycling a Purim theme from a few years back. And recycling is good!

The menu eradicates (think: Haman’s name) the usual hyperglycemic trans fatty acidic Eastern European food staples and provides you with 100% of the daily recommended allowance of all the latest nutritional buzzwords. We did not make the words up. Google them!

Suggested Menu for Purim Seudah

Tofu Stir Fry With Broccoli, Carrots And Onions on Brown Rice: We started compiling the complete list of nutrients in the stir fry but the list got too long, and we were getting bored, so let’s just say - this is very, very healthy.
Orange : Contains antioxidants, phytonutrients, flavonoids, vitamin c, beta carotene, folic acid, magnesium, and potassium. Eat the peel and white stuff for greatest nutrition.

Apple : Phytonutrients, fiber, boron. One a day keeps the doctor away.
Garlic Clove Contains allicin, a powerful antibiotic and antifungal compound. Chew raw to prevent all communicable diseases.

Green Tea Contains ECGC, a powerful antioxidant which inhibits the growth of cancer cells and lowers cholesterol. Drink it quickly before further updates prove exactly the opposite.

Pack of Oatmeal : Reduces cholesterol, lots of soluble fiber, complex carbohydrates, low glycemic index. Quaker spokesman is wearing a Purim costume.

Almonds : Fiber, protein, calcium, magnesium, vitamin E, and they were on sale.

Raisinettes : Chocolate is packed with antioxidants and can lower blood pressure. Raisins also packed with antioxidants. Thank you, Nestlé’, for funding the study!

Blueberry Yogurt : Scientists are studying a community of über healthy centenarians discovered living in the mountain tops of Tibet whose diet consists entirely of blueberry yogurt. These simple folk are still competing in the Olympics, shoveling snow, and rescuing survivors of plane and Toyota crashes, despite global warming and earthquakes.

A Happy and a Healthy Purim

Food Items Contain: Sulforaphane , glutathione, beta carotene, fiber, phosphorus, copper, selenium, protein, calcium, iron, manganese, glucosinolates, isothiocyanates, kaempferol, flavonoids, indole-3-carbinol (i3c), phytonutrients, sinigrin, luteolin , zeaxanthin, zinc, folate, phenols, vitamin c, potassium, and magnesium. And that’s all just for the broccoli.