The COFFEE POT War

Trouble is brewing at work ...

The problem:

The first shot in the COFFEE POT War came when the following email was fired out to the entire office:

(Names have been shortened to first initials to protect the innocent, guilty, and my job.)

From: B
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 6:26 PM
Subject: COFFEE POT!!

To All

Please help us out!

I don't know who is leaving the empty pot either on the counter or in the sink. But have a little courtesy for the next person who may want coffee.

1) At least Rinse the Pot out and put in the Drying Rack.
2) Turn Off the Coffee Maker ! ! ! ! !
3) PLEASE DUMP THE GRINDS IN THE TRASH.
4) And Maybe make a fresh pot!
a) Use New Filter
b) Place 1 Scoop of Coffee for every two (2) cups you wish to brew.

That was simple, RIGHT?

Just Do It!



The response to this onslaught was an immediate counterattack:

From: M
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 8:58 PM
Subject: RE: COFFEE POT!!

B,

Please note: All CAPS denotes screaming as does any number of exclamation points. This may be considered by some to be rude, inappropriate and unprofessional.

My personal contribution to this crisis.
I personally, remove the coffee pot from the burner and place it to the right of the coffee maker when it is empty. If I finish the coffee or notice it is almost empty I turn off the coffee pot to prevent burning. I will change my ways as requested. Maybe you should expand your request to include people that leave 2 teaspoons of coffee in the pot and those that spill and don’t cleanup. I wish our major corporate challenges got as much attention and where handled with such conviction.

Rinsing a hot coffee pot can cause it to crack and fatigue the pot.

Sincerest apologies for any inconvenience and my part in this crisis.

Hopefully we can resolve the other major issues such as:
Leaving the paper trays in the printers empty
Brining home leftover food purchased for all employees.
Acting rude and treating colleagues with disrespect
Discussion of religion in the office
Public Insubordination
Not replacing water jug when it is empty.

( The email continued with a paste of a web download of “ ‘How to Clean a Coffee Maker’, Drip filter coffee makers need to be cleaned monthly to remove hard water deposits (scale), leftover coffee oils that become rancid, and other impurities. Washing the pot just isn't going to cut it: what about the internal components? Follow these steps to clean your coffee maker through and through and you'll taste the difference.’ Followed by 8 steps, 5 tips, 2 warnings, and 6 illustrations. )



I don’t drink coffee, but I entered the fray with:

From: L
Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2008 8:15 AM

Subject: RE: COFFEE POT!!

And don't you just HATE it when someone puts an empty orange juice container back in the fridge? Or starts a new milk before the last one was finished?

L


The skirmish continued, completely ignoring MY rant, with …

From: E
Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2008 9:25 AM
Subject: RE: COFFEE POT!!

B:

Thanks for recognizing what a few of us have seen for a very long time. It would be great if everyone would contribute an occasional extra 5 minutes of their time to help straighten up in the kitchen and toss their old snacks/lunches/meeting leftovers in the refrigerator. Just a thought: there is always the option of weekly/monthly kitchen assignments, but it would have to apply to everyone in the office.

E


That was the last missive from the front.

I will post if the battle continues.

If anyone wants a copy of the complete instructions for ‘How to Clean a Coffee Maker’ let me know.

Tea anyone?